


Point Of No Return

by Shelley101



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Cheating, F/M, Heartbreak, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I don't even like Derek, One Shot, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:47:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21639292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shelley101/pseuds/Shelley101
Summary: Derek knows his marriage has been over for a while now but the magnitude of the mess doesn't hit him until he walks in on Addison cheating on him with Mark. Will he accept that his marriage has reached the point of no return?
Relationships: Addison Montgomery/Derek Shepherd, Addison Montgomery/Mark Sloan
Kudos: 5





	Point Of No Return

**Author's Note:**

> I've had such bad writer's block recently and have been trying to write whatever I can to get me out of the rut but it hasn't been working. This is the first thing I've written and not given up on after 50 or so words. I don't even like Derek as a character yet I did feel sorry for him in this situation so I thought I'd write about it in a one-shot. Enjoy!

The house was too silent. Derek made his way through the front door and into the kitchen and didn’t like how quiet it was. It felt wrong. Pouring himself a scotch, Derek eyed the broken clock above the kitchen table – it had been broken since March. He remembered back at Christmas, realising it was slow and changing it to the right time. Then again halfway through January, and again at the end, until he just let it tick slower and slower until March, when it finally gave in. 

Like him. Like him with his marriage. But at least he’d made an _effort_ to fix the clock, Derek thought to himself. At least, the first few times he’d noticed it was slow, he had taken the time to make it right. 

_ Not like Addison _ . No. Addie had done what Addie did best – ignored the damage and hoped Derek would fix it, which he had. The first few times, anyway. And now? Derek wondered if Addison had even noticed that their kitchen clock always told them that it was 11:21. Had even noticed that Derek wasn’t changing the time anymore, wasn’t putting the effort in to fix it. Sometimes Derek wondered if Addison had even noticed that their marriage was over. And if she _had_ noticed, did she care?

Derek threw back his head and downed his scotch in one gulp. It burned his throat as he swallowed but he liked it. It was one of the only things he’d felt in a while.

He made his way upstairs, not noticing the familiar coat hanging on the bannister which, although familiar, should not have been there at that time. He made his way into the bathroom and didn’t notice the shirt hanging over the tub which didn’t belong to him. It wasn’t until he opened the door to his and Addison’s bedroom that Derek noticed something was in the house that didn’t belong there.

Some _one_.

He knew their marriage had been falling apart; knew that it had been hanging on by a thread but Derek had never expected this scene. Not like this. Not his best friend – his _brother,_ basically – in bed with his wife. He knew their marriage had been falling apart but Derek had never expected Addison to sink to this level.

The pair jumped apart from each other and Mark, knowing that there wasn’t anything he could do or say to change anything, left the room without speaking. He couldn’t face Derek. 

Mark left and both Addison and Derek wished that he hadn’t. Because neither wanted to be the first to speak. At least if Mark had stayed, Derek thought, he could have punched him. At least if Mark had stayed, he would have said something stupid enough to shatter the tension. 

Derek blinked at Addison and watched as she scrambled to get out of bed and pull on one of his t-shirts. “Derek.” It was that one word, barely whispered, that finally made Derek get his voice back.

“Get out.” Those two words were enough to break Addison Shepherd’s heart. She knew their marriage had already been over but that didn’t shift the blame off her. She knew that Derek hadn’t been making any effort to fix their marriage but it didn’t change the fact that she had been the one to bring Mark into it.

“Derek-” Addison repeated, her eyes stinging with tears.

“Don’t,” he cut in without a flicker of emotion on his face. “Get out.” She crossed her arms and held her ground. “Get out of my house,” Derek ordered. 

He suddenly went to the wardrobe and began pulling everything Addison owned off the hangers and chucking her clothes over his shoulder. “Derek, please!” Addison begged softly. She put a hand on his arm. “You have to give me a chance to explain!” He ignored her and continued removing clothes. “Derek –”

“No,” Derek said bluntly. He bundled her clothes into his arms and walked downstairs, Addison at his heel.

“What are you doing?” she cried. “What are you doing with my clothes?” Addison ran after him as he walked away. “It was one time, Derek – I know that’s what people say but, but we have to talk about this. I don’t even know how it happened – he was just here!”

Derek couldn’t listen any longer. “You screw my best friend and all you can say – he was just here?” he opened the front door and chucked her clothes out into the rain. “Get out.”

“No.” Addison’s voice shook but she wasn’t giving in. This was Derek – _they_ were Addie and Derek – she had made a mistake but he had too. Their marriage hadn’t been a marriage for months and now this one moment of weakness meant it was over? 

“Get out.”

“No, I’m not going anywhere.” Addison sat on the bottom step.

“Get out of my house, _now!_ ” Derek was fast losing his temper and just wanted her to leave. He couldn’t look at her anymore, let alone talk to her. Let alone watch the tears run down her face after _she_ was the one who had done something wrong.

Addison shook her head. “I’m holding my ground.” Her weak voice didn’t match her words. “I’m holding my ground,” she repeated as Derek walked back over to her. “We don’t quit!” she begged. Derek grabbed her arms and told her to get out again. “What are you doing?” Addison asked through her tears as he pushed her outside. “No!” she sobbed.

Derek slammed the door in her face and leant his arms on the doorframe, breathing heavily, doing his best to hold in his tears. What _was_ he doing? Why had he been letting this dead marriage slowly tick on until it had broken?

Through the door, he could hear Addison’s broken cries but forced himself to ignore them as he breathed deeply.

“Please,” Addison sobbed. “Derek...” Derek looked at his wife through the panes of glass and couldn’t work out what he was feeling. He was feeling too much – more than he had felt for these past few months combined – and he didn’t like it. And yet... something in him loved that Addison had finally done something to make him react. Had finally done something that he could notice. That he could act on.

She was still crying outside. The sound of her sobs made a lump appear in Derek’s throat. He breathed deeply: in through his nose and out through his mouth. He didn’t want to cry.

Something in Derek made him open the door. “I’m sorry,” Addison said through her tears. She went to hug him weakly. “You have to give me a chance to explain. To show you how sorry I am.” 

He turned them around with her still hugging him and let her go. As he did, Addison went to kiss him, surprised when he moved away. He closed the door softly and turned to face her. Worried he would kick her out again, Addison stayed quiet; the only noise coming from her was her broken sobs.

Derek ran a hand through his hair and looked at her. “I’m gonna go. You stay, I’ll get my clothes in the morning,” he said simply.

“No, no, no.” Addison’s protests were quiet but desperate. “We can survive this,” she sniffed. “We can survive this. We – we’re Addison and Derek.” Derek shook his head at her words. Were they? Were they Addison and Derek? Could they survive this? They had been barely surviving for nearly a year; all this did was put things into perspective.

“I can’t look at you,” Derek admitted. “We are not Derek and Addison anymore.”

“I-if you leave now, we are not going to get through this,” Addison tried. Derek thought she looked pathetic – standing there in only a wet t-shirt and some underwear, her red hair dripping from being outside for only a couple of minutes. She looked pathetic, standing there begging and pleading for him to stay. Stay for what? Stay to fix a marriage which was way beyond any point of return?

What was the point? “This? I don’t want to get through this,” Derek said. “What’s to get through?”

“If you go now, we don’t have a chance!” Addison begged. Derek turned back to the door and opened it. “Derek, we won’t have a chance.” But Derek didn’t care about this anymore. He didn’t care about their marriage, or about Addison’s tears, or about trying to get through whatever this mess was. He was being realistic. Their marriage had been over a long time ago.

So, he walked out. He walked out with the intention of only returning in the morning to grab his things. No more. He couldn’t do _this_ anymore. He couldn’t kid himself anymore. What was the point? 

Derek and Addison had known their marriage had been slowly falling apart at the seams but both of them had been trying to ignore it. They had hoped that the other would fix it – and both seemed certain that, at least for a little while, they had been doing their part. But they hadn’t been, not really. Addison and Derek had noticed how absent they were from each other’s lives and did little to change that fact.

They hadn’t felt it was anything they should worry about. Derek had assumed it would fix itself, Addison had assumed Derek would fix it for them. 

And now?

Now it was done.

Derek was walking down the steps from their townhouse with the intention of never looking back. What was there to look back to? He hailed a cab – he would have walked but it was way too rainy – and went to a hotel a few blocks away. He didn’t sleep. He knew he wouldn’t be able to, but he needed somewhere to stay for the night, seeing as he didn’t want to kick Addison out of the house.  He didn’t much want to sleep in the bed she’d cheated on him in anyway. Derek tossed and turned all night until it was light enough to sneak back home and pack a bag without waking Addison.

And then he left the house again, this time knowing it would be the last time he saw it.  Did he regret it? No. Did he regret not fixing his marriage sooner? Derek couldn’t tell. All he knew was that it had reached the point of no return.

It was over.


End file.
